Nanhi Kali: Sponsor education of a little girl

Nanhi Kali (loosely translated as little girl) is a project jointly managed by K C Mahindra Education Trust and Naandi Foundation in India to promote and finance education for under-privileged girl children. For as little as Rs. 1800 per year, you can sponsor education for one of the girls studying between Grade 1 and Grade 7, and for Rs. 2700 per yer, education of a girl studying between Grade 8 and Grade 12 can be financed.

Rs. 1800 a year = only 22 GBP/year, 44 CAD/year, and 45 USD/year
Rs. 2700 a year = just 34 GBP/year, 66 CAD/year, and 67 USD/year
Please visit XE.com for updated conversion rates.

I was sent a brief by Nanhi Kali yesterday when I rang them for information. The brief is as follows:

Shreya's parents can't send her to school.
Can you?

If you can’t, the chances are she will end up housebound, exploited as a maid or a child prostitute, be married off early and could even die during childbirth!

We write on behalf of thousands of girls who like Shreya, are forced to dropout of schools because their families cannot afford to keep them there. It is official knowledge that out of every 10 girls who enrol in Std I, only 3 complete Std X. Education for a girl child born to a poor family is still a pipe dream.

The Nanhi Kali project intends to make this appalling fact, history. With your help we can make it sooner.

How you can help:

Sponsor a Nanhi Kali. Be her guardian. Give her the assurance that no matter what trials her family faces she will never have to drop out of school. Your sponsorship will provide her with study material, uniforms and learning support. It will also be used to work with her teachers to create a learning-friendly environment in the government school she goes to.
− To keep a girl in school from Std I - VII, the per annum cost is Rs 1800
− To ensure an older girl continues her schooling from Std VIII - X the per annum cost is Rs 2500

As a guardian:

You will receive a profile of your Nanhi Kali with a photograph. You will also receive half yearly updates about her, so you can track her progress.

To Sponsor a Nanhi Kali you can donate online through www.nanhikali.org

For more information, please contact me at unchaahiATgmailDOTcom or Gauri at r.gauriATmahindraDOTcom.

Me and husband will be sponsoring two girls (one each from both groups) and I'll share my story here as it unfolds. I look forward to hear from more sponsors.

News round-up Feb 29, 2008

Goodies:

1. I've never been a fan of Priety Zinta post her writing-for-BBC-debacle where she mentioned that being a film star in India is the toughest job there is ... but more power to her for being the only woman celeb in Indian Bolly-world to be speaking up for rights of disadvantaged women of India.

Bollywood actress Preity Zinta had met Finance Minister P Chidambaram a few days before he presented the 2008-09 Budget, and had urged him to keep the budget woman-friendly.

"We met for just about 20 minutes and I, along with some other women like Renuka Chowdhary and some NGOs with a voice, got a chance to have a say. It was to urge him to make this year's budget woman-friendly, to provide incentives for women in the industries," Preity said.

Now on to the meaty stuff, the Baddies:

1. APPALLING piece of news. Indo-Canadian parents (should we call them parents?) file lawsuits when fetal DNA gender test gives incorrect results. Incorrect results as in told them that the fetus is male whilst it was a female. Poor them. Burdened with a girl child. In a first world country where opportunities for girls for a successful life are just as many as boys. How tragic for them parents eh? Shame! Shame that these people who don't even deserve to be parents get to reproduce and ruin yet another female life. What self-esteem is that poor girl going to grow up with when she is going to find out that her father gaped when she was born because he was expecting a son? Sad. Sobering. Downright shameful. Makes me miserable knowing that I am a part of the same culture as these 'parents' who indulge in gender tests only to kill female fetuses.

2. My views on desensitization of the process of sex-selective abortions by articles like the one mentioned above (#1 of baddies) are echoed by William Saletan when he writes:

The article exists because the underlying stigma has already decayed. Scores of women are suing over erroneous sex tests. The Jains are unashamed to tell their story and put their names on it. So are the other women quoted in the article. As technology makes it possible to break the sex-selection taboo privately and inexpensively, the practice spreads, and we get used to it. The question of whether to restrict it becomes, as with other prenatal tests, a mere question of consumer protection. Eventually, we'll establish rules to ensure the safety and efficacy of fetal sex tests. At that point, we'll declare them adequately regulated. That's how a taboo begins to die.

3. Bollywood actress arrested for rape and murder:

According to the police, the 12-year-old girl, whose name they did not disclose, was engaged as a helping hand in the actress' residence at Bhayendar neighboring Thane. The police alleged that few days ago Huma Khan and her male acquaintance took the girl to Pune, where the accomplice raped the victim.

An opinion: Gender inequality in society spurs rape

वो होती तो क्या होती? (a poem)

By Ketan Pandit

वो होती तो क्या होती?
वो बदलते समय का अनुमान होती।
बीखरे जज्बातों का जोड़ होती,
आने वाले कल की पहचान होती,
गुज़रे हुए पलों का सारांश होती,
वो होती तो क्या होती...

वो होती तो क्या होती?
तेरा या मेरा आधार होती।
एक माँ, एक बहन या एक बेटी होती,
एक इंदीरा, या लता या कीरण होती,
वो होती तो क्या बात होती!

वो नही तो क्या है?
सूना आँगन और आधी मुस्कान है।
वो भी एक संतान होती,
बदलते समय की पहचान होती,
वो होती तो क्या होती?

उम्मीद की इस लौ को,
ऐसे न बुझाओ,
लक्ष्मी की पूजा और बेटी के त्याग का,
यह मेला खेल न रचाओ।
तेरी बेटी भी बेटे सी होती,
वो होती तो कुच्छ और ही बात होती..

(Many thanks, Kets. Really put a smile on my face reading it. Very well written. If you'd like to share your views as well, please email me at unchaahiATgmailDOTcom. Thanks once again, Ketan.)

A step forward: Blog to a Website

This blog, like I said, is a starting point for hopefully bigger projects that will bring us one step closer to our goal. The next logical move is obviously a website in order to allow a better platform for an effective two-way communication. I have somewhat amateurishly designed one using Dreamweaver but, of course, only a professional can make it look like what a website is supposed to look like :p. Therefore, I am now on a lookout for someone who can help me with website design and coding at a minimal cost considering my budget so far is nil. :) If you can do it for me or know someone who can, please drop me an email at unchaahiATgmailDOTcom.

A snippet for the day ....

When reading CanadaFreePress today, I came across an argument I didn't agree much with. It got even worse when I read this:

Immigrants from [...] India where sex selection abortion, infanticide and bride murder have claimed 22 million females---are welcome in North America. As if homegrown sexism wasn’t enough, we’re importing it.

Of course, my first reaction was of rage quickly followed by defensiveness, and then, eventually, I resigned to acceptance. I certainly don't agree with the author's anti-immigration views but I do see his point. What did he say that was false? He did say the truth. Sex selective abortion, infanticide, and bride murder (honor killings) are rampant in India and these practices are also followed by a fair share of the Indian community in Canada. If I can accuse Saudi Arabia for maltreating their womenfolk, why should I feel bad when there's a finger being pointed at my culture for the wrong-doings that we actually are guilty of?

Really left me shaken up.

News round-up Feb 28, 2008

(courtesy Alankrita et Google)

A kick in the pants to:

1. Flouting the child marriage act openly (Laws, it seems, do not matter.)
“Child marriages contribute to virtually every social problem that keeps India behind in women’s rights. Unless enforcement issues are addressed effectively and awareness regarding existing legal mechanisms are created, problems like soaring birth rates, grinding poverty and malnutrition, high illiteracy and infant mortality, and low life expectancy, will continue,” says Dr Ranjana Kumari, Director, Centre for Social Research.

2. Lets just say it's not our responsibility because after all it is the victim's fault. It is clear that the majority of allegations of sexual harassment were foisted on Indians by foreign woman whose lifestyles and motives were suspect. They had made no contribution to the wealth of India but were parasites on our society. [...] After 1947, we have no need to accept the ‘firangis’ word as gospel truth, as the cricket controversy has proved!

3. I thought teachers were supposed to be revered next to God. Am I glad I am an atheist. Six male professors have been arrested for gang-raping a young female student and molesting several other women at a state-run college in western India.

4. Were we wondering why Indian women do not participate in the workforce?
The fact is women employees in India are still fighting an uphill battle for level pegging in areas such as equal pay for equal work. Consider the startling findings of a Sakshi survey of 2,400 men and women in a cross-section of workplaces and hierarchies: 80 per cent of respondents said sexual harassment existed at their workplace and 53 per cent said men and women did not have equal opportunities at work.
How can this not have severe implications for our GDP growth and general economic stability?

5. Another piece of convoluted logic: throw acid in face when a girl resists being abused.
It is becoming increasingly difficult for women to work night shifts at BPOs. There have been cases of harassment while commuting to work and at office. And to top it all, heading back home in the office cab is fraught with risk. The rape and murders of a BPO employee in Pune last year and in Bangalore two years before that show exactly what women workers are up against. Another BPO worker had acid thrown in her face when she objected to a cab driver's advances.

6. Afraid of getting trouble themselves or losing a viable vote bank?
Several male ministers, led by law minister, Kapil Sibal, Anbumani Ramadoss, and , Mani Shankar Aiyar, are strongly opposed to the amendment, which will punish men for visiting prostitutes.

7. In South Asia (India, Bangladesh, China), women and girls who contract the symptoms (of arsenic poisoning from groundwater) are often expelled from their families, inflicting social and personal tragedy.

8. In India, domestic violence rises with education (although an old article, but still very relevant)


Not to forget, a pat in the back to:

1. Lets hope they are able to fire the guy.
Reacting to the news report published in The Times of India on January 25 regarding sexual harassment of a female provincial civil allied services (PCAS) officer, principal secretary, department of labour, Kapil Dev has transferred regional employment officer RK Saxena and ordered to attach the victim with the department headquarter.

Why give birth to a girl?

I've often come across the question posed in the title when I've raised the importance of a girl child to Indian ladies at local community centers. "After living the life we've lived, do we really want our daughters to go through the same? It's best that they are not even born", they tell me, and my answer to them is: "Then be strong as a mother and take the responsibility of making sure that your daughters don't go through the same as you did". The response I most often get to my suggestion is that it is easy for me to say and tough for them to do. I had completely forgotten about this question being posed to me until I read a write-up a friend sent to my email this morning. She warned me that it might not be blog-worthy since she had written it in a moment of rage. But we are not here to judge, are we? Following is what Vimmi Jaggi has to share about her experience with her friend whose life was disadvantaged just because she was a female:

I met her when I was her age, hardly a teenager. She talked of a time when she loved to watch TV and her parents couldn’t afford it. TV was a new invention and, therefore, expensive for a middle class single earning man in 1980s in India. So, she used to follow her older brother (13 years old) to watch TV at his friend's house. It was her 4th visit when her brother’s friend’s father called her on the side and asked if she wanted to have more fun than watching TV. She was 8 years old at the time and not realizing the implications of what she was getting herself into, she agreed. The man she called ‘uncle’ out of respect took her upstairs away from rest of the family members who were watching TV. He took her to an open terrace and started taking his pants off...she was confused, but he told her to take her panties off to as it was going to be fun. She, being a kid, agreed in hopes of having fun. She took her panties off and sat in front of him with open legs. What followed was too graphic for her to share and me to write. Her cries were muffled with him telling her to shut up or he would tell her parents about what happened. She was afraid of her parents finding out and kicking her out of the house. So she said nothing but quietly swallowed the pain: both physical and emotional.

From that day onwards, she continually kept getting raped by him out of fear of him telling her parents. She felt that it was her fault. She felt that she was wrong and was scared of anyone else finding out about her wrong-doings. She was not just getting raped but also kicked and beat up at the same time, but she felt she had no choice except taking it.

‘Uncle’ was 35 and she was only 8. Uncle’s wife was pregnant in those days, and the little girl became the recipient of his lust. He never thought he was not just killing her childhood but also her ability to have healthy adult life too. She never spoke about this to anyone until one day she saw her brother trying to rape another young girl. She created a ruckus instantly. She has no idea if she was able to save that young girl for good or not.

After years of struggle, I saw her grow up a very troubled woman. She eventually met a guy who she thought respected women, and who she thought she would be happy with. She got married to him and, one day, he asked her if she would be interested in watching a porn video online. She didn’t see any harm in agreeing until she saw him type the keywords in the search engine: GIRL 10 YEAR GETTING RAPED.

She is living by herself now still fighting the demons her life presented her with.

Where was she wrong? What was her fault? Why should we even give birth to girls after seeing or hearing all this happening to a vast number of girls in India? Why should girls be made to live in fear? Why are girls labeled outcaste when they get raped? How is it their fault? Why does the blame always lie with the woman? What is this man made society and man made rules to keep a woman under their foot...what is this, why is this? Why why why?

(If you have an experience to share or thoughts about issues of focus on this blog, please email them to me at unchaahi@gmail.com. I look forward to hear from you. Thanks Vimmi.)

News round-up Feb 27, 2008

(courtesy Alankrita et Google)

Things to smile about….

1. Punjab, Haryana finally wake up to female infanticide: click here to read the news
A well written article but with 343 views and 0 comments. Had the article been about Kareena Kapoor's new love interest, the number of comments would've exceeded the number of views. Sad state of affairs really.

2. UN to combat Violence against women (more power to them): click here to read the announcement

3. Indian President to ensure legal equality for women (at least they have woken up to the fact that things on paper and in reality are different): click here to read the news

4. Promote music and art to fight social evils like female foeticide, infanticide, dowry, and addiction to drugs and alcohol, the Indian President adds: click here to read the report

5. Forthcoming Indian foreign trade policy to introduce pro-women schemes and sops for the first time (about time): click here to read the news

And things to rage on about….

1. Female foeticide on rise in Jammu and Kashmir. In J&K, the child sex ratio was 820 and 840 girls to 1000 boys in Jammu and Kathua districts as per a J&K sex ratio survey conducted by Directorate of Economics and Statistics, J&K in 2006: click here to read the news

2. (Rich areas poor in sex ratio) The dip in the child sex ratio (CSR) even in urban areas of the country has become a cause for worry and Maharashtra which boasts of a comparatively higher level of education than many other states, is no exception. Shockingly, the richer districts of the state - Kolhapur, Satara, and Sangli - have the lowest sex ratio from among 35 districts, according to the 2001 census. The ratio in Kolhapur is an abysmal 839, down from 931 in the 1991 census: click here to read the news

3. India's trafficked brides endure cycle of abuse: click here to read more

4. 44% of Asians in the US say they know of someone suffering domestic abuse: click here to read more
Domestic violence statistics for Asians seem pretty dismal from the report by Sakhi for South Asian women: click here to read the statistics
(Misogyny, clearly, is a function of the place you live in.)

5. Misogyny in India is alive and very much kicking: click here to read the report
With statistics of One Rape a day, regional differences, it seems, are still more important for some people.

6. Incredibly Unsafe India (borrowed from the Hindustan Times headline): click here to read the news

7. And when they cannot protect them, they harass them: click here to read the news

The abnormality of being female

By Alankrita

In Delhi, the “Ladli” scheme is all set to take off. In the words of the Chief Minister, Sheila Dixit to streamline and simplify the procedures and go a long way in overcoming the cases of female foeticide”. As if there aren’t enough laws and rules. And forms to sign and the rest of that.
http://www.hindu.com/2008/02/26/stories/2008022653780400.htm

There have been cash rewards announced in the past. The most recent being http://www.punjabnewsline.com/content/view/8830/93/

And speeches made. “It is important to improve the sex ratio. It is important to have legal equality for women. Blah blah blah….” But that is what it really is. A lot of empty hot air. Because just laws and rules and regulations and schemes do not help. And we know it. Abortion was legalized in India in 1971. To allow termination of unwanted pregnancies. A move to empower women. But as the convoluted logic proceeds, it only served to disempower them more.

With Amniocentesis being introduced I 1975, to detect abnormalities in the fetus, it was used to select out the female sex. And in the same twisted way it makes sense also. Because in India , it is pretty darn abnormal to be female. Unwanted, uncared for, not needed. Secondary. Which is why crime against women is trivialized. Harassment, Expressions of misogyny, outright rape, are all loosely termed “Eve Teasing” . Eve-teasing. Eve as in the female. Tease- as dictionary.com tells me is:
1. –verb (used with object).
2. to irritate or provoke with persistent petty distractions, trifling raillery, or other annoyance, often in sport. to pull apart or separate the adhering fibers of (wool or the like), as in combing or carding; comb or card, as wool; shred.
3. to ruffle (the hair) by holding it at the ends and combing toward the scalp so as to give body to a hairdo.
4. to raise a nap on (cloth) with teasels; teasel.
5. Also, teaser. Television Slang. a short scene or highlight shown at the beginning of a film or television show to attract the audience's attention.
–verb (used without object)
6. to provoke or disturb a person or animal by importunity or persistent petty annoyances.
7. a person who teases or annoys.
8. the act of teasing or the state of being teased.”

All in all two extremely harmless words that get nowhere close to describing the heinousness of the act- rather acts. “Trifling raillery” indeed. Of course it was a trifling raillery that one of my closest friends had to endure the shame of being called a “big baby” because a stalker forced her to be escorted to and from school by her family. He would stand on her route( a mere 5 minute walk) and ogle, follow her and make lewd remarks. “She could have ignored it” was the verdict. Ignored it at the cost of her peace of mind. Kept a straight face and walked on, unmindful of the catcalls, the comments, the combined efforts to make her feel ashamed for the perverts behavior. And of course it was a “petty distraction” which made my cousin use scarves and belts to strap across her bosom in the vain attempt not to look “grown up”- something which I found hundreds of teenagers doing with bad posture, nearly medieval undergarments- all so that they did not attract unwanted attention. Victim blaming at its most evolved. Yes, indeed these were minor nuisances. Just like the case on New Years Eve in Mumbai where two women were set upon by a gang of 70 or 80 men. Or the not much later incidents in Delhi. incidents all over the country. http://www.tehelka.com/story_main37.asp?filename=Ne090208fair_game.asp

Or even those that the “Blank Noise Project” http://blog.blanknoise.org/ is trying to educate people about. But they will March on March 8^th, and generate some talk- and leave the underlying misogyny there. Rooted deep inside the psyche of the Indian is the idea that women somehow are not as important at all. Which they are not.

Because “eve-teasing”( how I detest that word with its archaic images of old Hindi movies with “chhed diya” and a naughty coyness) is an euphemism. But unlike euphemisms, which seek to tone down the darker aspect of things , even while people realize just how deep the impact is, eve-teasing does not do that. It makes the incidents of assault, stalking, unwanted unwarranted attention, perverted behavior or even in certain cases severe bodily injury and death just “minor “ or worse” trifling”.

But is it so surprising? That crime against women and blatant misogyny is so much a part of our lives that we do not even question the culture of fear we live in. It stems from the roots of our socialization. That we do not laugh at the apparent contradiction of educating our women about “appropriate apparel” to “protect” them even while condemning a stalking experience. That senior journalists on national television debate if “women are asking for it” and attire just becomes one of the several chains which women are shackled by. After all the constitution says they are equal and that token is enough. So we have “family friendly” policies, the impact of which is to reduce freedom for women, as are the continuous efforts of the more right wing religious zealots. Women after all are possessions, to be guarded, protected, taken care of but in the end used.

And so we call it “eve-teasing”. Not crime against women, not assault, not stalking, not perversion( which is another story) . And we tone it down. It is “annoying”. Period. Of course it leads teens to an overwhelming sense of guilt, coupled with low self confidence. Steers women to the “safer” professions( and in case you think ”that” happened a long time ago, let me enlighten you with the fact that in 2004, one of my bosses told me “industrial marketing is not for ladies” in very modern NOIDA.) Never mind the economic, social and national implications. It is just “petty” Like women. Not serious enough.

Of course crime against women exists in the west also( I know this will be treated by a “ we have a tradition of treating our women like goddesses”). But it is not disguised by an innocuous phrase. It is called what it is. CRIME. And that is where we need to get. Because unless we see it for what it is- A Crime, a heinous act against one half of humanity; not to be trivialized nor toned down, nor dismissed as an “annoyance” – no matter what laws the state makes against it, the streets, the buses, the alleys, indeed India will not be safe for women, nor indeed can we claim respect as part of our tradition.

the Problem, the Causes, the Consequences objectified

Simplifying a problem as complex as female foeticide to define its causes and consequences seems almost improbable. However, I have made an effort to narrow down the problem, its causes, and its potential consequences to the best I could as follows:

Problem: Girls in parts of Southeast Asia (primarily India and China) are being killed even before they have a chance to be born. The numbers of females are dwindling. Sex ratio (female:male) is getting worse every year as these areas are becoming more affluent and have easy access to modern-day technology to get abortions done without any serious medical consequences. Current sex ratio in the worst affected regions stands at 50 girls : 100 boys in the age group of 0-6 years. There are also cases where girls are not aborted, but they usually die within the first year or two from lack of care by parents or they are murdered. Studies have shown that the numbers of girls reported for vaccinations is less than the numbers at the time of birth. Further yet, this number drops drastically for school admissions. In short, girls continue to be treated as a liability, a burden, that is best removed right when it is born or even before it is born.


Causes: Simply put
1. Dowry system where parents of the bride have to pay the groom's family to marry their daughter. Higher the dowry, better the chances of a girl getting married. Of course, an unmarried girl is a blot on a family's honor, which leads me to my next point.

2. Misplaced archaic cultural (nonsense) of girls being the 'honor' of the family. Sadly, this is true for a majority of cultures around the world, but some take it seriously enough to resort to murderous acts for the sake of 'honor' that is driven by super-sized inflatable male chauvinist egos.

3. Girls don't propagate family name and neither does the family property stay in the same family. (Last time I checked my knowledge of genetics, I thought girls got exactly the same genetic information from their parents as did their brothers, and girls propagate the family genes just as much as their brothers. Perhaps I should sue my schools for misguiding me.)

Update on March 22, 2008:
4. Family Planning: Click here to read further


Consequences:
1. Women's health: There are women who have to undergo numerous abortions in hopes of getting a son at the risk of not being able to conceive again. They have even higher chances of being abused and abandoned by their husbands and families once they cannot conceive and haven't even produced a son. Some women don't have the financial means to consult qualified physicians, so they settle for quacks who are available in plenty, and thus endanger their health immensely. There are reports of these quacks prescribing testosterone to women who want a male child resulting in increase in cases of cancer among women and the birth of eunuchs. In addition to that, emotional and mental strain that a woman goes through is not considered important at all. She is left alone to suffer.

2. Women being trafficked: Stories of women being bought from the poor regions of the country for men who can't find themselves brides in the affluent parts affected by adverse sex-ratio are already making news. There are also news of women being bought and abandoned or sent to another man once they have produced a son. Long distance brides are being bought from a completely different culture and are forced to adjust to their new homes with new culture, new language, and far away from their families.

3. Women being abused and sexually exploited: Although it is invariably happening already, incidences of young girls (children) as well as older women being raped and forced into polygamy are to see a leap in numbers if the current trends of mass extinction of the female gender continues at the same pace.

4. Suicide rates in women will increase. Their psychological health will suffer. Their physical health will suffer. In short, the female gender is doomed if we don't do anything about fixing the problem we have at hand.

5. Violence amongst men: With a lack of proper family institution at home, men are bound to resort to aggressive means to expend their energy when they are not busy making money or beating women they bought because they couldn't give them sons in the first go.

Update on March 25, 2008:
To read more about consequences, click here.


Cures:
1. Education, education, and education geared towards women empowerment

2. Financial lures for families who are below a certain income level

3. Awareness of extreme consequences of an evil like Female Genocide through media intervention

... and, of course, #3 is what we are trying to do through this blog. Thank you everyone for your feedback and words of encouragement on the emails. I am looking forward to invite a few writers to contribute to this blog so that we can bring about a change that seems improbable at the moment but certainly not impossible.

As for # 1 and # 2, I am yet to hear from the NGOs I contacted in India. However, I was assured yesterday that I will soon hear from them and was guaranteed help. I am quite optimistic and I shall keep you updated.

Update on March 26, 2008:
Potential solutions and Have your say.

a loss

What must a mother go through when she is killing her daughter? Getting an abortion done after 16+ weeks of nourishing life within her. How must she cope with the loss? I wrote a poem (more than a year ago) from what I thought could be a mother's point of view before she is about to abort her daughter. The poem:

Adieu, my child

It’s not the dowry
It’s not even honour
It’s certainly not my face
It’s you who I want to save

From a world too callous
To view you as a life
For you are a commodity
Impotent part of a live trade
A lost transaction
Even before the deal is made

From a world too bitter
To value you as a being
For your emotions don’t count
Rules far too many to obey
A stifling existence
Decay to stillness everyday
___

It's not a mother justifying her guilt

It's a mother making amends
between her and her child
It’s a mother telling her child
about the love she has for her
It’s a mother who is unable to
but has to let go of her princess
It’s a mother who has no voice
against what her society declares
It’s a mother who has no daring
of winning her baby a chance at life
It’s a mother who begs forgiveness
before she hands over the doc a cheque

... hmm.

Beacon of Hope

Early morning today around 6 am, I found myself tossing and turning in bed hoping that the annoying telephone ring in my dream would fade away if I moved around enough. No matter how many times I shook my head, the ring didn't die out. Finally when it did quieten down and I thought I could now sleep in peace, a sudden jerk on my shoulder woke me up. Husband was standing besides bed with phone in his hand. "It's M from India", he said drowsily. I did take the phone from him but took me about five minutes into the conversation to finally figure out that it was my cousin from India talking excitedly about this blog. She had spent time reading what I had to write. I was undoubtedly humbled, and wanted to know her thoughts (which she obviously woke me up to share).

Summary of what she said is: "I so know where you are coming from, and I do want to help too but it is a hopeless cause. With rapidly new technology being introduced into the market and physicians in the racket as much as people getting sex-selective abortions done, there can't be anything done. NGOs are losing battle everywhere. What can you do to change mentality? Change might happen but it will already be too late by then. People will learn from their mistakes as it is by then." I couldn't say anything to her at the time simply because I didn't have anything to say (which is a rare feat in itself). I excused myself by promising to ring her back later when I am not sleepy. After hanging up the phone, instead of sleeping, I lied in bed wide awake thinking about what she had just told me. Was it really hopeless? Not that I would give up even it was hopeless, but is it really hopeless?

A few hours and a few glasses of water later, I came across a story that cast me out of the dilemma I was in since morning. It's a story of a group of women in one of the poorest regions of India who took it upon themselves to take care of each other and everyone else around in time of need. This group is by no-means an advocate of non-violence. They call themselves the 'gulabi gang' (pink gang) notably for their pink saris that they drape as a uniform. Gulabi Gang is known for thrashing men who beat their wives, commit any atrocity against women in their family, and the gang is also in strict opposition of government officials who misuse their power. The Gulabi women have often taken law into their hands by beating police officers when they are being unfair. You can read more about them here.

Rough justice: Leader Sampat Pal Devi and members of the Gulabi Gang with their traditional fighting sticks (Source: DailyMail.co.uk)

Guardian gives its take on the Gulabi Gang here. Almost all leading newspapers and blogs relating to feminist issues have articles written about the Gulabi Gang also known as the Pink Vigilantes. Public perception of the gang throughout the web-world has been resoundingly positive. Any rational headed individual who would oppose violence being inflicted on women in a male chauvinistic society and corruption in a society (bed)ridden by the caste system would support the cause these women err ladies have taken up. It needs not just an ability to wield a fighting stick but lots of grit and ability to work collectively towards a common goal of leading a respectable life.

It's true that violence is not the best way to deal with abuse but what choice do these ladies really have? They live in a region notorious for its rebels and bandits and high rates of poverty and illiteracy accompanied by strict immersion in century-old traditions of caste system. Lower caste women are beat and raped just for fetching water out of an upper caste well. Police officials always are in favor of the upper caste, and maybe would even arrest the poor woman who's already been beat and raped. What choice are they really faced with except picking up weapons themselves and fight for their right to live with dignity? They are not out on a murdering rampage. They are merely fighting for freedom to live their lives with propriety.

That leads to my thought for the day: wouldn't it be great if we could instill this need of a life with dignity and respect in every woman in the country? Would it not make them value their lives? Would it not help them stand up against the pressures of their family (and society) to have a male child? Would they not start valuing their girl children just as much as the boys? Would they not teach their sons to respect women? Would they not inspire their children (sons and daughters) to not discriminate against anyone based on sex? Would they not be happy with themselves, and would that happiness not translate into a happier society?

My thoughts could just be far-fetched dreams or they could be saplings of hope that the Pink Vigilantes are sowing in the soils of their India. The cause might not be so hopeless after all.

Statistics interpreted ...

Statistics don't always make sense to me unless I see a pictorial representation of them. The more I read about female foeticide, more series of numbers I find thrown my way. Sans a few figures that are so horrific that they have to leave an impact on me, I forget everything I'd read after 10 minutes of idle musing. For example, the only figures I remember now is a newspaper reporting 527 girls for 1000 males (0-6 years) in Fatehgarh Sahib region of Punjab (primarily Jatt Sikh populace), and another that listed a ratio of as low as 300:1000 in upper-class Hindu Brahmins in urban regions of Punjab. I keep regurgitating these figures to everyone I have a conversation about the issue in question lately. When I did it fifth time today when conversing with a friend over the phone, I figured it was time to bring my knowledge from the hours I spent in statistics classes and build me some graphs. In this post, I share with you my latest creation ... pictorial representation of data that is derived from Census of India 1961, 1971, 1981, 1991, and 2001.

First of all, a graph representing Decadal Population Growth of India:

Secondly, a graph depicting the decline in the National Sex Ratio in India for the age group of 0-6 years:

Last but not the least (cliche to be excused), my interpretation of the data listed above. A graph of India's Population (positive) growth vs. Sex Ratio (negative) growth:

Looking at the graphs, we certainly don't require an expert statistician to tell us that as the Indian population maintains a healthy growth rate, sex ratio is on a constant decline. My interpretation is confirmed by Mr. Sanjay Kumar when he states:

India's population stood at 1.03 billion on 1 March 2001, having risen 21% between 1991 and 2001. "What did not rise, but rather declined shockingly, was the sex ratio," says the report.
The sex ratio, calculated as number of girls per 1000 boys in the 0-6 age group, declined from 945 girls per 1000 boys in the 1991 census to 927 during the 2001 census.

hmmm.

Related Reading: Indian women cry just to be born

How does it matter to me?

A chance discovery, three weeks ago, of seven fetuses abandoned on a hill outside the town caught the local administration by surprize. They decided to shut as a result all the privately run clinics offering ultrasound scans to determine the sex of an unborn child, and the nursing homes where abortions are carried out. This included Krishna clinic which, in turn, led to another gruesome discovery.

This plot of land is owned by Sabita Sahu, the same person who runs Krishna Clinic. From this deep well dug on her plot, the police discovered at least 70 decomposed fetuses which had been packed into polythene bags, stuffed with boric acid, and then thrown into the well over a period of time. The well has been sealed by the police, but, clearly, what happened [here] is just a tip of the iceberg.

This is an excerpt from the following video that talks about 130 aborted foetuses that were discovered dumped in the state of Orissa and the problem of female foeticide in India:




'Yes, murders are being committed. Yes, decomposed foetuses are being found. Yes, it's unfair. Yes, it's not right to kill a child only because of its sex. Yes, abortion on determining sex is cruel. Yes, that is all right but how does it affect me??? I love my daughters and would've never thought of aborting them and neither would I advocate feticide to anyone. So, why should I be bothered? I don't even live in India!'

That's one of the responses out of many colorful ones that I've had over the past week that I've been speaking to people about my blog: my newest fixation. I was also told to leave my mad preoccupation and focus on something productive because expecting change is like interfering with nature's cycle. People like me should learn to let it be, I was told, and nature would take its course.

hmm.

I would be happy for nature to take its course if what is happening was what nature intended in the first place!! Nature has always maintained a fair male:female ratio. It's 'human beings' like you and me, in the first place, who are messing with this 'natural' ratio by skewing it beyond repairable damage. It is human beings' fault! not nature's!! Therefore, onus is on us 'human beings' to INTERVENE by putting an end to this mindless, prolific genocide of the female sex in order to allow nature take its course. Not the other way around as I am being advised!! Damage is being done by us. Not by nature. Results will be detrimental to us! Yes, nature will take its course, but at what expense? Women are already being bought and sold, raped, forced into polyandry, and being coerced into prostitution. Do you really think that with excess number of males in society, women will start being valued in such a madly patriarchal society? If you do, then you are sadly mistaken. Instead, women will be commodified more than they already are! Violence against women will see a steep rise as if it is not high enough already. It's women who will be suffering more than they already do in a society that reveres its male children and offers condolences when a girl child is born.

Back to the question imposed in the title: how does it matter to me? How does an unbalance in the society that's ways away from where I am impact me? Well, my answer simply is: It matters to us just as much the war in Iraq does. Just as much as the recruitment of children to fight for wars being fueled by greed in Africa does. Just as much as the bloody upheaval in Kosovo concerned us. Just as much as the genocide of Rwanda impacted us. Just as much as the mass murder of Jews by Nazis influenced us. Just as much as the slave trade in early American history affected us. The list is endless.

Any injustice ... any disturbance ... any blot on humanity ... anywhere in the world ... does impact us - the humanity - at a global scale. The issue of men outnumbering women in Southeast Asia doesn't just predict women being discriminated against, it also signals warnings of rates of violence to increase inevitably. Men, when not exploiting women, would be fighting amongst each other which is an issue of concern for everyone at a global level. I'll end today's outburst with an excerpt from a PDF report of a research conducted by a group of ladies from various non-profit organizations. This research was conducted to analyze the patterns of female foeticide and infanticide in China, India, and other countries in Southeast Asia. The report concludes:

The magnitude of the phenomena of female foeticide and girl infanticide in India, China and other parts of Asia has reached a critical level creating a worldwide demographic imbalance with, in turn, drastic economic and social consequences. Over 100 million women are now missing in Asia which will result in a 12 to 15 percent excess of young men in the next twenty years.

[...]

It will take generations to change people’s mindset but the situation worldwide is so dramatic that we cannot afford to wait any longer. It is imperative that the International community calls on the governments and all actors responsible for this human and demographic tragedy to enact laws and take urgent measures to fight these violence and discrimination which, by denying the first basic right of all - the right to life - denies all other human rights.

Solutions for the problem of Female Foeticide?

Please?

My plan for today was to list all the possible reasons for male preference in the Indian society, analyze each reason, and present conclusions drawn from my analyses in an ingenious manner until I spoke to a friend last night. He excused himself by calling himself a 'stupid Indian patriot' at first and then went on to say that he upsets him to see negative things written about his country. He went on to say that he acknowledges that whatever negative that is being written is true to the word but he just doesn't like it. He would rather be interested in solutions and action now rather than knowing that the problem exists. Fair enough, I responded. Solutions it is then. Having promised him that, I delved into the big wide world web to fish for solutions. I came across this very interesting blog that talks about all the reasons that I was meaning to write about today and it asks the same questions I was seeking answers to. The blogger discusses the factual unfavorable sex ratio numbers, its detrimental consequences, the reasons behind such anomaly, and ends the blog with the following questions:

What to do? And are there any effective interventions possible at all? How do you address the issue that is so intimately related with such core social realities as dowry, low social status of women, patriarchic society? The culture that took thousand of years to build does not take short time to change… Do you just opuskat’ ruki and watch worsening sex-ratio?… Who is to be responsible? Who is to intervene? How to intervene?

Exactly the questions I set out to ask.

I have approached a few NGOs working on issues relating to gender inequalities in India. I am in conversation with 3 of them in hopes of them providing me expert advice on what they believe are the best solutions for the posed problems along with informing me of the projects that are currently active and the success rate of these initiatives. I've also asked them to provide me with detailed information in regards to the factors affecting the success and failure rates of their projects. I haven't yet received any information. These things take time, I am told. I had contacted one of these three organizations on February 7 ('08), second on February 8, and third on February 18. I have repeatedly touched base with the first two but with no success of receiving any information yet. Perhaps it does take over two weeks to email information over. Now, either I sit quietly and wait for a response or get on the phones again with some other organizations. I think I'd opt for the latter. Maybe I'd get lucky.

As for my personal view on solutions, like everybody else I've read so far, I also believe that there is no single solution. Addressing the problem of gender inequality and its inevitable consequences that we are faced with cannot only be just addressed by stricter laws and punishment. They require an alteration of majority of the package of cultural norms that have been handed down from generation to generation. Every woman in Indian society needs to start valuing her life and start respecting herself and inculcate the same in her children: both boys and girls. It's with the empowerment of women (through means like education for women, equal job opportunities as men, shunning of dowry system etc.) that the process of overthrowing adverse sex ratios can begin. Women no longer should accept being treated as a burden on society merely born for the purpose of handling domestic chores and being a breeding machine. However, it is easier said than done. My 43 year old aunt was quite literally offended and upset with me when I told her that me and my husband take turns to cook. "How could you allow him to do a lady's job? It's your responsibility as a lady to manage the house!", she said to me in a thoroughly disappointed voice. I managed to wriggle out of the situation by laughing it off although it still bothers me even if it has been a year since. She is an educated lady married to an equally educated gentleman living a rather affluent life in India. If she strongly believes in what she told me despite having received education in a good school, is there any hope for a village girl whose life only pertains to her parents' house's four walls? Sadly, statistics show that education makes no difference in people's perception of the value of a woman. I agree with what one blogger says:

Women and only women can understand the pain, grief, insult and oppression of another women. Until and unless this happens, freedom of women will always remain illusive.

I leave you today with a categorically written report that does provide suggestions of improvement: Female Foeticide in Punjab: Exploring the socio-economic and cultural dimensions

Eradication might not seem a possibility in the near future, but our attempts might get us closer to the desired result. Understanding the causes and seeking solutions does seem like a fair start.

A beginning ...

Rest in Peace, Little Angel (Give the girl child a chance to live)

I've been meaning to start posting on this blog for over a week now, but I kept putting it off since I felt that I hadn't yet immersed myself deeply into the layers of the issue that I want to focus this blog on. The issue that pertains not only to the unborn female fetuses that are being aborted in countries like India but to the mere essence of being a woman. The generational undermining of the value of a female life, I thought, required a deeper study. I kept reading articles on gender inequality, reports on research conducted in areas with adverse sex ratios, documents listing statistical evidence of consistent decline in the number of girls born in regions worse affected by sex-selective abortions etc. However, I wasn't getting much out of my readings except frustration with myself for not being able to help the situation and frustration at the world for being so cruel. Today again, I chanced upon a news item published in The Times of India that talks about 13 abandoned newborn girl children on the streets of capital city of Delhi left to die in the cold. Needless to say, I was frustrated to no end. Eventually, I decided it was time to let my frustration out through writing about what I feel rather than running from bedroom to living room and back in hopes of burning it off as exertion.

I am not a sociologist by profession and neither am I a psychologist, but I am a woman. I am a woman whose life could've been easily snatched from her just as it was from millions of Missing Girls of India. I am a girl whose parents could've left her at an orphanage with a neatly packed bag containing a change of clothes, milk formula and disposable nappies. I am one of the group whose numbers are on a constant decline just because our lives have no monetary value. I am just a nobody who is lucky to be alive. Yet, I am somebody who wants to work towards making sure that there are many others who get lucky just like I did. Little girls who are being perished every day at the hands of deeply rooted misguided cultural norms deserve to live just as much as their male counterparts. Technology was meant to better our lives. Who knew it would be used in attempts of wiping out half of the human race?

My effort through this blog is not to state just the facts and figures (that are widely available on internet) but discuss the emotional distraught that an issue as such brings about in addition to my journey towards contributing in addressing the issue in a proactive manner. I intend to keep this blog as a diary for listing any accomplishments I might have in the next few months or years to get closer to tackling a crime that must take as high a priority as ethnic cleansing.

There are many articles, news, position papers, research reports widely available on the net. I shall also try to bring together as much material as I possibly can on this blog for a more informed view on the topic of female feticide / foeticide or sex-selective abortion. It's always good to know where and why it hurts before trying to treat the wound.

For starters, here's a valuable read:
India's missing girls -- Nipping them in the bud?

Not to miss:
UK Indian women 'aborting girls'
(be sure to watch the video / hear the audio)

Time for the necessary cultural awakening????

I look forward to populate this blog soon.